Idiot Quota – my idea of the week.
I hereby declare that each of us is entitled to set a reasonable daily Idiot Quota, and when it is reached, we are no longer required to deal with any more idiots that day. By “reasonable,” I mean greater than zero, but not necessarily into double digits.
The magnitude of the idiots is not relevant. By dealing with bigger idiots at times, you are learning the valuable lesson that the world is essentially random and sometimes you just get the worse of it. If your quota is seven idiots per day, one really big idiot still only counts as one. Six to go.
Also, it is required to deal with the idiots in person (or on the phone). Reading about idiots in the news is not sufficient. Remember, someone else had to deal with that idiot in person. Similarly, please do not try to shirk your duty by simply attending a meeting. Idiots in meetings only count as the square root of the number of idiots in the meeting, rounded up to the next integer. So if you attend a meeting with seven idiots, take the square root of seven (~2.6458), which rounds up to 3.
The good news is, once you have reached your quota, you are no longer required to deal with any more idiots that day. The overflow will be shunted to a waiting area where they may watch E! and Fox News, and read assorted Kardashians’ Twitter feeds.
It will be tempting to set your quota at one, since zero is not allowed. This is technically allowed, but please do not subject this program to the Tragedy of the Commons. We ask that you set your quota high enough to keep the overflow manageable. Otherwise, Tea Party rallies may break out and then there will be real trouble for all of us.