Here’s a non-drinking game for you: take a shot every time a GOP-sponsored policy initiative is something other than:

  • Promoting fear that Brown People from Far Away are Coming To Kill Your Babies
  • Lavishing bizarre sums of money on defense contractors via military adventures to go Far Away and Kill Brown People’s Babies.
  • Arming their base of Angry White Dudes with guns that would be useless in a situation where Brown People had actually Come to Kill Their Babies. (But which are more than adequate to randomly kill their own babies, or those nearby, or themselves.)
  • Insulting the President for being insufficiently white – it’s so easy! Just make him out as of those Brown People from Far Away, Coming To Kill Your Babies.
  • Lavishing bizarre sums of money – via tax subsidy, usually – on their campaign contributors. Who contribute to those campaigns out of the bizarre sums of money lavished upon them in the previous cycle.
  • Preventing any of their campaign contributors from being inconvenienced by silly requirements that their industries perhaps not actually Kill Our Babies.
  • Busting unions and workers’ rights to keep labor cheap for the benefit of those contributors.
  • Promoting religious ideas — especially if they include repression of women. Which keeps people frightened and in-line enough that they put up with all the rest.
If you can get drunk at this game, you’re cheating.