Somewhere in Upstate NY. 6:20AM
We need coffee, and the motel in-room pot is hilarious but is never likely to produce much more than rusty-looking water. So we roll into a Dunkin’ Donuts. The nervous-looking person at the register is probably a trainee. Great.
“A #4, please, with medium coffee, black, two sugars.” “Want hash-browns with that?” “Nope.” DD hash-browns are epically horrible.
“OK, #4, large coffee, cream, two sugars.” “Medium. Black. Two sugars.” Jaw muscle starting to twitch.
“OK, got it. And you, ma’am?” “Also a #4 but no cheese, medium coffee, black only.” “For here or to go?” “For here.”
Coffees in hand (made correctly, yay!), we sit down to wait for sandwiches. At this point it starts to sink in that the store is amazingly cold. Like they have been running the A/C full tilt with no thermostat for at least 24 hours despite the overnight lows in the high 50s.
But now that coffee is finally seeping into our brains it all starts to seem funny. Then from the back I hear an older voice saying, “if they want one sandwich with no cheese, put that one on top.” Dimly I wonder, “on top? on a tray?” We’re already giggling and for some reason this is even funnier. Now, Trainee comes forward with a bag (“To-go? For here.” Uh huh.) and carefully yet triumphantly pronounces, as Jill takes it, “the one with no cheese is on top!”
Jill brings the bag to the table and opens it, and then barely manages to hang on to it, she’s laughing so hard. And she holds it out to me to look into, and I lose it at the utterly hilarious sight of two sandwiches in a bag, precisely filling the bottom of the bag as they nestle.
I wish that trainer luck with this one.