While their heart is in the right place, Pumpkin just can’t expect the local police to coordinate on a national scale for the advancement of fascist dictatorship. They aren’t really built for it.

Naturally, the kind of police violence that makes racists feel safer for a minute is a top priority, certainly over doing anything at all about a pandemic or the economic well-being of people with net worth under eight digits. But to provide the kind of distraction they need with an election three months away, it has to be coordinated on a national scale.

Lucky for him, the PATRIOT Act’s funding of military equipment being lavished on “law enforcement” was not restricted to local and state departments. So, a Gestapo is born. After a smash hit run in Portland, watch for the grand opening this week in Chicago.

And coming soon to YOUR city.